Unathletic and Unapologetic

     From a young age, children are told by parents, teachers and mentors that they can grow up to be whatever it is that they want to be. Astronauts, ballerinas, ninjas....the sky is the limit. I wanted to be an athlete.

     When I was young, I had my heart set on being a gymnast in the Summer Olympics. My mom, knowing in her heart of hearts that her extremely long and lanky daughter was not cut out to be a gymnast, tried to discourage me by telling me that I would have to leave home and live in China...forever. I was perfectly fine with that. My mom, being a good sport, signed me up for gymnastics class. Two months later, I twisted my pinkie toe. That was the end of my gymnastic career. 

     I had a successful career as a young basketball player. At age 10, I started on an AAU basketball team that made it to Nationals in Disney World. I was in my prime. Of course, looking back now, I was half a foot taller than every other girl in the league, so it was almost like...cheating. When I got to college, I made the mistake of talking about my "basketball career" to some friends. After one game of co-ed intramural basketball, I never spoke of it again. 

     In Junior High, I experimented with softball. I joined a summer traveling league, coached by the super intense, visor-wearing, show-no-mercy, high school softball coach. He promised that after a summer under his training, you were guaranteed to make the junior high softball team. Well....I didn't. All that I got from that summer was a few good bruises and a bad sock tan.

     When I got to high school, I was your average six-foot-tall 120, pound bean pole. The volleyball coach thought I would be a star. Height does not always translate into athleticism. One year in, and several awkward spike attempts later, I traded in my knee pads for a pair of pom-poms when I made the cheerleading squad. 

      I gave my final attempt at high school athleticism to the track team. Track, in most cases, is a solo sport. You run. Easy enough, right? Wrong. I was assigned to the hurdles. You run, you jump, you run, you jump...get the picture? Well, that is exactly what did NOT happen at my first track meet. There was lots of running and jumping. In fact, I was in the lead. Right until the end. Right until my foot got caught in a hurdle, and I face planted. In front of my friends, my family, and this really cute boy that I liked at the time. I turned in my track jersey the next day. 
      
     You may call me a quitter, but, I like to consider myself a realist. I came. I tried. I failed. I'm done. 

     I was done. That is, until I moved to New Orleans and decided to try my luck with intramural sports. A college friend of mine was recruiting people for her social kickball team through an organization called PlayNOLA, so I decided to come out of my athletic retirement.

     Did you know that it is possible to strike out in kickball? Yeh, me either. But I did. Regardless, it was the the most fun I've had pretending to be athletic...ever. Maybe it was the copious amounts of beer that we consumed. This was a "social" league after all. Maybe it was the team comradery. Maybe it was the fact that our 10-year-old selves would have kicked our butts, and then laughed at us. What I do know is that I have met some really great people, some of whom are now my closest friends. Coming out of athletic retirement might just be the best decision I've made since I've moved to NOLA. Who cares that we came in last place?  

                                                                Team Awesome
                                                     (yes, that was really our name)

      So, I'm not an athlete. That is clear. But I have other talents. For instance, I'm very good at beer pong. I've been told that I am an exceptional toast maker (the speech, not the bread). I can make some mean French Onion soup. Did I mention that they are all very useless talents?? Let's just say, I'm still looking for my "knack" in life.
    
     I am not giving up on being an athlete just yet. Tonight, I will put on my jersey, and head to the football stadium for some intramural flag football. Hey, I am not giving up on my dream until I've exhausted all outlets. Needless to say, it's not looking good for me. : )

As always, stay tuned for more Nonsense coming soon!