Christmas is Still My Favorite Holiday

     It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been rather careless and have neglected my blog-writing duty for far too long. It's true...and I wish I had some really neat excuse as to why I've been away for so long. But I don't. I could lie and tell you that I've been away on an African Safari...or that I've been busy preparing my underground bunker in anticipation of 12/21/12 (though the thought has crossed my mind). But, I am no liar. The truth is, I have been in a terrible writing slump and have avoided this blog like the Bubonic Plague. I feel like I must apologize to my (3) faithful followers. I have overlooked some of the most fascinating occasions here in New Orleans, and I promise that I will make it up to you...starting now.

     It would be unnatural to have a Blog about New Orleans and not make a mention of  Mardi Gras. For me, Christmas is the epitome of holidays. For true New Orleanians, Mardi Gras is where it's at. I was born and raised in Louisiana, so Mardi Gras is nothing new to me. I have celebrated Fat Tuesday in many different cities, and have even visited New Orleans during Carnival Season on several occasions. Believe me when I say that NONE of this prepared me for actually living in New Orleans during Carnival Season. Now, if you are a born and raised New Orleanian, now is the time that I thank you for visiting my blog, and ask you to please stop reading for fear of offending you, and being removed from the city in which I love........Confession: I prefer Christmas to Mardi Gras 100 fold, and here is why: 
    
     1. Blocked Roads: Mardi Gras float drivers should take a lesson from Santa and recruit   some flying reindeer to pull them, so that they do not block every single road in the city. Mardi Gras parades make it almost impossible to navigate the city...this includes getting home from work...or where ever you choose to fraternize at the 5 o'clock hour. During Carnival Season, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that trumps the importance of successfully blocking several of the most trafficked streets in the area. Think that your excuse is good enough to get you through, or that you can sneak around the barricades? Think again. Try it, and a very scary uniformed man will strut over on his crap-happy horse and put the fear of God in you. I've seen it. And I know for a FACT that Santa would never do that....  

    2. Presents: Every December, without fail, my Christmas list is comprised of cloths and shoes. I'm a girl...somewhere in my DNA it is written that I must love clothes and shoes. What I really love is picking out the exact apparel that I would like to receive, because that ensures that when I wake up Christmas morning, it will all be neatly tucked under my tree in little boxes, and I will not be disappointed. Score! I have a feeling that Santa had a little talk with the Mardi Gras Gods this year. He forgot to mention to them that just because I like clothes and shoes, does not mean that I like ALL clothes and shoes. They got my style all  wrong...Check out these gems that I caught this year:

     The coveted Muses Shoe. It's your average shoe, coated in glitter and beadazzeled to the core. A little gawdy for my taste. However, women of New Orleans would trade their first born child for one of these babies.

     An authentic Indian Dress caught on Fat Tuesday during the Krewe of Cresent City...$40 price tag included. Keeps your eyes pealed for this dress on the streets. I plan on donating it to one very lucky homeless woman....or possibly using it for Halloween this year.

     I feel like I should also add that during the week of Mardi Gras there are also full blown wars over catching things as absurd and coconuts, toilet paper, and toilet plungers??? What a strange, strange city that I live in.

     3. Present Delivery Method: I enjoy receiving Christmas presents. They are nicely wrapped in festive paper adorned with cute little ribbons. They are handed to you, or gently placed under the Christmas Tree. They are not chunked at your face. Or the back of your head. No one is trying to do physical harm with the delivery of a Christmas package (for the most part) ...not like these masked float riders, with their ulterior motives.  I don't think we need to recap on my athletic ability here, but catching a flying object aimed at my forehead is not my preferred method of receiving. And I have NEVER been asked to show any explicit part of my body in order to receive a Christmas gift....just saying. Christmas wins again.


     In my opinion, Mardi Gras does have two strong suites that could give Father Christmas a run for his money, and they come in the form of food and drink(ing).

     1. The King Cake: Bread and Sugar, two of God's greatest gifts to mankind. Not only is this delightful dessert comprised of two of my favorite things, but it's also brightly colored in festive purple, green and gold sugar. And behold! Inside of most king cakes, is a tiny plastic baby. When I was younger, I used to fight for the piece with the baby inside. Now-a-days, I try my best to avoid it, because getting it means that you have to buy the next King Cake.....now why would I want to do that?

     2. The Mardi Gras Ball: There is no better excuse to get all dolled up and then drink excessive amounts of alcohol while listening to a fairly decent band. However, this event can sometimes be tainted by the above #3. In New Orleans, it is custom for parade floats to enter the building that the Mardi Gras ball is being held and continue throwing beads and other strange items. Picture this with me if you will: Inebriated ladies and gentlemen, dressed up in ball gowns and tuxes, attempting to catch Mardi Gras beads with one hand (drink is in the other)...All while standing on their respective chairs. This is a recipe for disaster... aaand I'm pretty sure I still have a bump to prove it.  


   New Orleans Mardi Gras is one of the most unique and absurd phenomenons I have yet to experience. Regardless of my above comments, I really did have a very fun-filled Carnival Season with some great friends. Am I looking forward to it again any time soon? I'll let you answer that for yourself. Right now I have my sight set on Christmas....can you blame me?

As always, stay tuned for more Nonsense coming soon!